HOPE

It has been over 2 months since my last post and I can truly say this is not what I had intended to happen.  I wanted to have a new post up every week or two.  I do have posts that I have completed and could have posted, but I just couldn't bring myself to post any of them.

Why, you may ask?  Well, these last few months have been a real struggle for me.  Mainly with the negative thoughts occupying my mind all the time and causing me to be in a constant battle inside.  This battle usually comes around in September of ever year as that is when all of my health issues began, so this really came as a shock to me as this time it began over the summer and didn't ease up until a few weeks ago.

In years past, I could overcome the battle by focusing on the positive instead of the negative and trying to occupy my mind as much as possible with reading, game time with my family, crafting, or just being outside.  For a time, none of this worked for long periods of time.  It would only work for 2 or 3 days tops, with a lot of struggle still.

Until the end of Sept...

I started reading the book "Life Without Limits" by Nick Vujicic and I truly enjoyed it.  For someone who could REALLY complain about life, he could. 

Nick was born without arms or legs, a rare occurrence.  His parents admitted to him when he was a teenager, that when he was first born it was hard for them to come to grips with this and to accept it.  Over time, their faith in God helped them and then Nick to accept the cards that they had been dealt.  When Nick realized that God had a purpose in all of this, it was then that he accepted his disability and his life and he wanted to reach out and help others.

There was one thing he talked a lot about that touched me and has helped pull me out of this gloomy time: HOPE. 

My hope is in God, has always been and has grown so much over these past 5 years that it had begun to level out.  To become what is a plateau.  During these past several months, this plateau is what made it hard for me to pull out of this struggle.  I knew God was still here with me, walking besides me, trying to pull me up the mountain like "the little train that could", but my thoughts were just everywhere...in the negativity, with just a few positives floating around. 

It wasn't until I was reading Nick's book that I began to clear out the negativity inside my head & heart and began to think about the positives in and all around me, that I was able to lift myself up out of what I feel was one of my darkest times of my life.

I began to focus on the positive of having been blessed with such a wonderful husband and kids, who have helped me in ways they don't realize.  The positive of quality friendships, the shining sun, a surprising blooming flower amongst the falling leaves, baking & cooking items that my family & friends enjoy, love of crafting, knitting, and now sewing that has taken me to new ideas & possibilities, and oh so many more positives.

To began to wean out the negatives in my heart & mind I will say was & is a hard process, but it is one that I am grateful that I did do.  One of my first steps I did was spending less time on Facebook.  I realized that even through this, even in the smallest way, I was experiencing pain that was unavoidable on there.  Now, I only go on it once or twice a week, three times the most.  Another negative I had to get out of my mind was my health situation.  I may suffer from headaches, body pain, muscle weakness, walk with a cane, & take 2 naps a day, but I am still Stacey: the wife of Stephen, the mom of Matthew, Sarah, & Rachel. a fanatic of Disney, but most importantly, I am a child of God.  No health situation can ever change that.

Now, there are more negatives I weaned out of my mind & heart, but I think I will tell you about them on a later post.

I did not quote anything from Nick's book "Life Without Limits" as I could not pick out 1, 2, 3, or even just 5!  The whole book is amazing and is one long quote!

I will leave you with something that Nick Vujicic says: "What is hope?  It is where dreams begin.  It is the voice of your purpose.  It speaks to you and reassures you that whatever happens to you doesn't live within you.  you may not control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond."