HOPE

It has been over 2 months since my last post and I can truly say this is not what I had intended to happen.  I wanted to have a new post up every week or two.  I do have posts that I have completed and could have posted, but I just couldn't bring myself to post any of them.

Why, you may ask?  Well, these last few months have been a real struggle for me.  Mainly with the negative thoughts occupying my mind all the time and causing me to be in a constant battle inside.  This battle usually comes around in September of ever year as that is when all of my health issues began, so this really came as a shock to me as this time it began over the summer and didn't ease up until a few weeks ago.

In years past, I could overcome the battle by focusing on the positive instead of the negative and trying to occupy my mind as much as possible with reading, game time with my family, crafting, or just being outside.  For a time, none of this worked for long periods of time.  It would only work for 2 or 3 days tops, with a lot of struggle still.

Until the end of Sept...

I started reading the book "Life Without Limits" by Nick Vujicic and I truly enjoyed it.  For someone who could REALLY complain about life, he could. 

Nick was born without arms or legs, a rare occurrence.  His parents admitted to him when he was a teenager, that when he was first born it was hard for them to come to grips with this and to accept it.  Over time, their faith in God helped them and then Nick to accept the cards that they had been dealt.  When Nick realized that God had a purpose in all of this, it was then that he accepted his disability and his life and he wanted to reach out and help others.

There was one thing he talked a lot about that touched me and has helped pull me out of this gloomy time: HOPE. 

My hope is in God, has always been and has grown so much over these past 5 years that it had begun to level out.  To become what is a plateau.  During these past several months, this plateau is what made it hard for me to pull out of this struggle.  I knew God was still here with me, walking besides me, trying to pull me up the mountain like "the little train that could", but my thoughts were just everywhere...in the negativity, with just a few positives floating around. 

It wasn't until I was reading Nick's book that I began to clear out the negativity inside my head & heart and began to think about the positives in and all around me, that I was able to lift myself up out of what I feel was one of my darkest times of my life.

I began to focus on the positive of having been blessed with such a wonderful husband and kids, who have helped me in ways they don't realize.  The positive of quality friendships, the shining sun, a surprising blooming flower amongst the falling leaves, baking & cooking items that my family & friends enjoy, love of crafting, knitting, and now sewing that has taken me to new ideas & possibilities, and oh so many more positives.

To began to wean out the negatives in my heart & mind I will say was & is a hard process, but it is one that I am grateful that I did do.  One of my first steps I did was spending less time on Facebook.  I realized that even through this, even in the smallest way, I was experiencing pain that was unavoidable on there.  Now, I only go on it once or twice a week, three times the most.  Another negative I had to get out of my mind was my health situation.  I may suffer from headaches, body pain, muscle weakness, walk with a cane, & take 2 naps a day, but I am still Stacey: the wife of Stephen, the mom of Matthew, Sarah, & Rachel. a fanatic of Disney, but most importantly, I am a child of God.  No health situation can ever change that.

Now, there are more negatives I weaned out of my mind & heart, but I think I will tell you about them on a later post.

I did not quote anything from Nick's book "Life Without Limits" as I could not pick out 1, 2, 3, or even just 5!  The whole book is amazing and is one long quote!

I will leave you with something that Nick Vujicic says: "What is hope?  It is where dreams begin.  It is the voice of your purpose.  It speaks to you and reassures you that whatever happens to you doesn't live within you.  you may not control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond."

"The Little Train That Could"

     Do you remember sitting "Indian Style" in preschool and early elementary grades and hearing the teacher read the story of "The Little Train That Could"?  I remember hearing the story over and over...and always picturing the scene from "Dumbo", where the circus train is pulling all of the cargo up the big hill/mountain in the rain...chanting to himself "I think I can, I think I can" over and over with a strained face until he finally makes it over the top and changes his tune to "I thought I could, I thought I could".  His face turns into a nice smug smile.  Even to this day, I still root him on!
 
     Well, every morning, for the past 4 1/2 years, I have felt like this little train when getting out of bed and when I do get out of bed.  I may not be pulling a lot of cargo, circus animals, or doing it out in the cold rain...but, boy do I feel like it!  
 
     Before I go to bed, I stretch out my muscles to help them relax, to help calm down the pain some.  In the morning...my body is tight and hurting!  The last thing I want to do is get out of bed.   On one hand it would be easier to just stay in bed and sleep off the pain, all day long.  Or, on the other hand, I could just deal with the pain since I will be hurting anyways, stretch out my muscles, help my family get off to where they need to be...
 
     I decide to follow what Phil 4:13 says: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  I get up.  Even if I stay in bed, I am going to hurt.  If I get up, I am going to hurt.  If I can breathe, then it is going to be a good day, a great day.
 
     Once I am up, I make sure I take a shower and get dressed, just like I would if I wasn't dealing with all of this pain.  By getting out of my PJs, I feel like I have accomplished something, that I can still take on the world.  Some days, this may be all that I do, while on others, running an errand may be all I can do.  I do feel better by getting up as I am moving about and remembering "I think I can, I think I can..."
 
     Why not enjoy life and hurt at the same time?  Get up out of bed or off of the couch or out of the chair, get dressed (dress in your Sunday best if you want to!), and enjoy the air that you can breathe in...at that very moment.  It is a gift that God has given you as, along with the strength to make it thru that moment.

Making it Over the Mountain

     Our family lives here in North Carolina in the Blue Ridge Mountains.  Yeah, they can be beautiful...at times.  Other times, not so much.  For instance, in the fall and winter time...they look dreary as the trees are...well, ugly.  No leaves.  Just dreary!  But in the spring and summer, they look nice.  So full of color and birds and blooms.  Beautiful!
     Another reason the mountains can NOT be nice is when your driving, biking, or walking them.  Up and down and up again for a long stretch, then finally down again.  This truly makes me miss the flat roads of Florida.

Hanukkah 3:19 says: 

The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like feet of a deer;

He enables me to tread on heights.". (NIV)

     When I first read this verse about 10 years ago, all I could picture was a scene from the Walt Disney classic Bambi.  Bambi is trying to run from the forest fire and is trying to get over a rock wall, when his father, the King of the forest, comes over and starts to push him up over the wall. 

This verse came to me several months after my health issues started as...well, a reminder. 

*I could stand before my rock wall (the health issues) and just stand there dumbfounded, not knowing what to do, and be engulfed by my thoughts, feelings, and most of all...the sadness of what was happening.
OR

* I could call on my Savior to get me over this rock wall, no matter how tall, rugged, or excruciating it is and trust in Him that the other side is just like how He planned it to be.
 
     So, I did what I needed to do: pray and asked for prayers.
 
     As sufferers of chronic health issues, we need to be in prayer... a lot!  By being in prayer, our thoughts are preoccupied.  Our thoughts are not just focusing on our pain, our situation...it is focusing on God and who He is.
     In the beginning, I was in constant prayer for myself.  Asking God to help me deal with all of the pain, for it to stop.  Then as time went on, I prayed for God to help me be the wife and mom I needed to be, to be the daughter & in law I needed to be.  To be good with the grocery budget.  To be a friend to my friends. 
     As time went on, my prayers began to be focused on others and less on me.  By having my thoughts focused on other things, my mind wasn't focusing on my pain, weakness, and my sorrows.  I was able to keep myself distracted and learn to see the beauty of the world, even when in pain.  I also kept a prayer journal & would write my prayers down either every day or every so often.  By writing down my prayers, I could go back & read the prayers & see all that God had done for me, my family, and loved ones.
 
     I had a handful of close-friends that became my prayer group.  They were the ones that I could share my heart, my tears with.  I knew that if I called, emailed, or texted them, they would be down on their knees praying for me & my family.  I encourage everyone to have this small group of close-friends as it truly will help.  Plus, if you need to talk about your health, you don't have to go into detail about everything, as they already know it.
     I know that not everyone has some kind of chronic health issue and I praise God that you don't.  As a friend or loved one of someone that is dealing with it, you as well can be praying.
Pray not only for healing, but for the person to see the "little things" in life, to make it thru the day,...anything.  As time goes on, God will give you what you need to be praying about for your friend or loved one.  This is truly one of the best ways that you can show your love & support...over & over.
 
 

This is the "Welcome " Door....

Okay...after many months of fighting this...I have decided to step thru the "Welcome" door.  What is exactly the "Welcome" door?  A door that God opened up to me many times, but I walked right past it.  A door that numerous people told me I should go thru...to help others.  So...here I am, walking thru this door and I have to say... it is beautiful, peaceful, and full of lots of paths to follow.  Truly amazing!

Why is the blog titled "Making it thru the day"? 

I am not entirely sure where the title came from, it is some kind of statement that I learned from a few of my elderly friends when I would ask how they were doing.  It seemed that a majority of them would say: "Making it thru the day".  That, my friends, became me...just wanting to make it thru the day.
On Sept 12, 2008 my life changed along with my family's.  After receiving a hormone injection, I began to experience one of the side effects: headaches.  My doctor informed me that they will go away after a few weeks.  Well, they never did.  Yep...I said never.  It has now been 4 1/2 years, and I deal with these headaches 24/7.  The headaches have caused a domino effect on my body, causing me to have respiratory, auto-immune, digestive, nervous, and circulatory systems problems.  On a scale of 1-10 for pain, my daily level is a 7 or 8, ever since I was put on a good combination of medications.  Before that, I was on a level 9-10 every day. 

Why am I doing this blog?

Thru the past several years, my family and I have learned a lot to help me "make it thru the day" and I would like to share them with you.  I also want to encourage all of you to share this blog with your family and friends, as I will also be posting on ways that loved ones and caretakers can help people dealing with chronic pain and health issues.  This blog is going to benefit a lot of people as there are many people out there dealing with health problems or people who help take care those people.

Until, my next post...enjoy this "Welcome" door and welcome others thru the door.
God Bless!